I remember reading those books as a teenager about how to not sweat the small stuff. Before Rachel Hollis was reminding us all to wash our face, Richard Carlson was running the motivational show in the 90’s, showing up in all of our grandmas’ bathrooms in paperback, telling us to JUST CHILL because really, it’s all small stuff. I liked ol’ Richard. That guy had some sense.
Even so, I’ve been stumbling on the Mountain of Unimportant Things forever and ever. Every time I trip on that mountain I drop something – usually time, money, sleep, or general happiness. I’ve stumbled over little pebbles on the mountain like burnt pancakes, paint colors, the Christmas card picture, and how my butt looks in those pants. Other times it looked more like a boulder – a missed self-induced deadline, a faulty effort to make someone happy, or the thought of what so-and-so might think. You know, small stuff.
There are certain momentous occasions in life too that make that mountain harder to climb, not because it’s any steeper than any other season, but because the air around these occasions tends to get foggy for the climber.
Take a wedding for example. As someone who spent ten years photographing this occasion, I’ve seen hundreds of people cartwheel down that one. It’s TRIPPY. But do you know how many actual people in the actual world actually care what flavor your cake is going to be? Maybe your Aunt Betty, but you only see her twice a year and, seriously, how many times can she really bring it up? Pick a flavor and crush that pebble.
Guess how many people care what shade of dusty rose those bridesmaids dresses are? ZERO. Unless you do, and you force your favorite friends to give up four Saturdays in a row to “get the perfect look” for your day. Then I can promise, all those favorite friends care about is when your wedding can be over and they can get back to their own mountains. Kick that rock out of the way and get to building the actual marriage (cause that part, honey, is so not small stuff).
How about when you birth that first baby? There goes a thousand topics for another day, but THE FOG can be SO DANG heavy up on THAT mountain. You’ll be better off to just stop where you’re at, lay down the hiking stick, pull a KIND bar out of your diaper bag and sit yo’ silly self down before you lose your footing completely.
The Perfect Birth Story. Not yours to write.
The Perfect Going Home Outfit. Might be covered in spit up.
The Perfect Newborn Pictures. WILL be covered in…something.
The Perfect Breastfeeding Experience. May or may not be in the cards.
The Perfect Baby Daddy. Bless his poor pitiful heart! Who dat?!
Now I’m not sitting high and mighty over here. It’s easier to see all that once you’ve been through those particular foggy times, and even for experts like me (HAAAA!), there are other seasons too. Holidays, new homes, going back to school, new jobs, and anytime you see anything cool on someone else’s Instagram story can make you feel a little disoriented on the mountain. It’s especially easy to stumble when you’re climbing beside other people who are as clumsy-footed as you are.
You know how it goes. If they slip on an Unimportant Thing, the first thing they’ll do is wail about it, and depending on your own strength that day, you’ll either fall right down there with them or offer them a hand to stand back up. It takes practice to be strong enough to offer the hand.
At this point in life I still stumble, but I’m finding it way more fun to be standing on top of the mountain than to be buried beneath. Maybe I dropped my Give-A-Crap in one of those other falls, but I’m becoming a more steady climber with practice, and I’m telling you, the view is extra refreshing and much less sweaty from the top.
Kids looking flawless every Sunday at church – Under the mountain.
Just getting the kids TO church – On top.
Having my name on every volunteer list in town – Buried underneath.
Bringing my best service to one or two worthy causes – Beautiful up there.
Getting the Annual Incredible Christmas Card Photo – Back at the bottom.
Being present enough to notice Christmas Card Worthy Moments all year – So high I can feel the clouds.
When I feel my foot slipping, I like to think back to my favorite line in that bathroom book.
“Will this matter a year from now?”
Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff and It’s All Small Stuff, Richard Carlson
Most of the time I find that whatever it is that tried to trip me doesn’t even matter right now, and THAT is what it feels like to stand strong. Oh, what I could do with all the time, money, sleep, and happiness I’ve dropped along the way if I could only get it back now.
Let’s keep practicing, friends. When we spend all our waking hours UNDER the Mountain of Unimportant Things, it’s nearly impossible to find the energy to climb Mt. Actually Meaningful when we get to it. I promise to grab your arm and pull you up if you’ll grab mine.
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