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How to work from home like a boss: A guide for newbies

It’s a new day on planet Crazyville for all of God’s creatures, and for the traditional working world, every hour seems to present a brand new challenge. As COVID-19 continues to make historical strides worldwide, it’s not just the technologically advanced or the millenial-infused corporate cool kids who will be working remotely. 

Soon (like, TODAY y’all) any and every small business and nonprofit and office of more than…well…ONE in America that possibly can, are encouraged to move to some form of temporary teleworking model. Whether that terrifies or excites you I can promise two things if you’re new to this type of gig – it’s not as great as it sounds, and it’s not as bad either.

While we all adjust to the change and uncertainty of it all, here are a few tips to help you wrap your head around the art of working from home without losing your mind…or your job.

Get crystal-clear on expectations. If you and/or your supervisor are new to an out-of-office working model, it’s absolutely imperative that you both understand the rules up front. Nobody knows the rules? Make some up together! Talk through things like when you’re expected to be available by phone and email. Should you be “at work” from 9-5 with an hour for lunch, or should you track your time and work whenever as long as you meet your deadlines?

Talk through other things too like: whether or not you’ll use your personal cell phone for business calls, which uses are appropriate for your business laptop, whether or not you should be on social media during office hours, how your teammates prefer to communicate, and how often you’ll be expected to check in. Believe, the more you tackle up front, the less awkward things will be later. Save the oops-I-didn’t-know’s for something more important. 

Find a space that works for work. If this is truly a temporary mandate for you, I’m not suggesting you transform your spare bedroom into a full-blown office space (though I do love a creative workspace away from work). At minimum, you will need a place to go that’s conducive to productivity. Before you decide where that should be, let me tell you where it’s NOT:

On the couch. You’re not fooling anybody if you’re “working” from the comfort of the same place you nap/Netflix/chill. I don’t claim to know a thing about science, but people, it’s science. I’ve propped my laptop on a fluffy pillow in my lap countless times thinking I was about to make strides only to find myself drooling on the keyboard and dreaming of vacation. Get comfortable, but not that kind of comfortable. Bonus reason not to choose the couch- it’s hell on your back!

In the bedroom. Unless you’re hiding from your roommate/partner/kids for an hour or unless you have a neat little desk beside your bed, this one is just like the couch. You might be able to knock out a short conference call behind the closed door sitting criss-cross-applesauce where you sleep, but you’re setting yourself up for more of…well, less, if you attempt to clock in here.

Near the tv. If your job requires less than 1% concentration, you’re totally fine here. Go for it. But if you (or your boss) expect true productivity, turn off the tube and know that working-while-watching-Ellen makes you as ineffective as that Facebook tab you hide every time your coworker walks by. Just because you won’t get caught doesn’t mean you should do it.

I’ve found that if you don’t have a desk, but you do have a dining room table, breakfast nook, or bar, a good-enough space can be born. I prefer a room with windows – just don’t choose the seat right next to it if you don’t want to battle a glare on your screen and lose your mojo. Wherever you are, give yourself room to spread out, and if you can, leave it there – don’t pack it up and make yourself have to pull it out again. When you’re home, you should still feel home, but when you’re in THAT spot friend, you’re at work. Welcome to your zone.

Limit distractions. Think you’re easily distracted at the office? [Bwah HA-HA!] Wait until you try to distinguish your home to-do’s from your work-from-home to-do’s. It can be tricky figuring out how to block the focus-stealing culprits, but if you pay attention on the first day, you’ll know exactly what they are.

Put your phone facedown. You’ll likely need your phone close by if you’re working remotely, but if you’re like most of us these days, you’ll also need to create some boundaries to keep you from picking it up out of habit. Whatever your vice – Instagram, TikTok, or texting – it will be easier to drift into a screen time abyss in the comfort of your own home. No one is there to hold you accountable for your time, and a text about dinner can lead to a quick recipe search on Pinterest, which can lead you halfway through your online grocery order in the Food Lion To Go app, which leads to you suddenly using 15 minutes of your workday ineffectively. DO all those things for sure, but at a designated time like a lunch or mid-afternoon break.

Watch your trips to the kitchen. (And all the work-from-home veterans just nodded in unison.) In the real office, you might grab a coffee first thing, a yogurt mid-morning, and heat up your lunch while you chat with a coworker. At home if you’re not careful, you’ll EITHER eat a sleeve of Oreo’s before breakfast, last night’s pizza during your webinar, then a shame-snack around 2 p.m., OR drink three cups of coffee and work yourself into a hunger headache because there’s no one there to remind you to fuel up and hydrate. Plan for good eating habits as if you were going somewhere for the day. Don’t just rely on your whims, or M&M’s.

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Create a visual work plan. Unless you’re a master agent of organization, a random stack of papers won’t get you through this one. At home, that stack can sit for days. Who even knows what’s in it? Take some time in the first week (and every week) to dig through your STUFF and find a prominent place to list your priorities. If calendar alerts work for you, put it all in there. Make yourself appointments to complete important tasks and don’t do ANYTHING but THAT during the time you chose. If you’re a list-maker instead, put your list in a place that you can’t miss, and don’t forget to add deadlines!

Take a shower. People, this is a big one. One of the greatest perks of working from home is that some days, you can very easily go from one set of pajamas to the next without judgement. We’ve all done it, and folks, it can be so awesome. Email + messy bun, report + sweatpants, even video conference + a little mascara and a nice button-up on top of your “Mama needs wine” nightgown – it’s all a little invigorating. Do it now and then, no one cares!

The trick here is not to let it become a habit. If you can be 100% productive in your pj’s, more power to you, but go too many days without fresh clothes and clean hair and you’ll start to lose your luster in more ways than one. Go ahead, enjoy your at-home comfy coffee while you plan your day first thing, but get yourself together (before lunch!) if you want to bring the heat to the home work.

Enjoy the perks. Speaking of perks, there can be SO many perks! My favorite thing about working from home is the ability to multitask the simple stuff. Do a load of laundry and take back the part of your Saturday you usually spend rewashing the towels you forgot on Wednesday night. Pick a tiny project that you’d never get to on the regular (junk drawer, medicine cabinet, freezer, etc.) and tackle it during your webinar. Start dinner or exercise during lunch and get to ENJOY a little more of your evening. Sure, you’re at work when you’re in your zone, but taking back your travel time alone can lend itself to a little more balance later. Use it!

More favorite things to add to your work-alone-zone: music, your favorite candle, snacks, and anything else that helps you focus but annoys the crap out of your co-workers. 

Communicate what this means to your people. THIS. THIS is the real ticket. If you’re new to working from home, then most certainly, your family members or housemates are too. Remember those boundaries you set with your boss? They’ll be a nightmare to follow if you don’t communicate them with the people around you.

If you have a set schedule, then your husband/girlfriend/daughter/roommate/dog needs to understand what that looks like. Are you sort-of available or do you want them to pretend you’re invisible during working hours? Say it. Is it ok for them to join you at the dining room table to quietly do homework? Invite them, but set the rules. Does your mom think you’re sitting by the phone and available to chat all day now? Let her know you’re excited to catch up with her, but you’ll have more time after work. Do you need the dog to be occupied during your 10 a.m. call? Ask for help or take the call away from the crate. (And give him a treat for his patience!)

Whether you love it or not, your at-home people are now part of your work team. Remember that NO work OR home-work team is perfect, but make them feel included with all the communication up front, and hopefully, no one will get hurt…UNLESS you have to…

Figure it all out with the kids at home. I’m mostly talking to you now, Mama. (You too, Dad.) These are new, hard, crazy crazy times. I could spend a thousand more words talking about how to work from home with kids. I could talk about navigating homeschool, nap times, lunches, arguments, tears, interruptions, laughter, spilled drinks, screen time, deadlines, and ALL the other things that THIS factor brings to the remote-working world.

Instead, I’ll say this. Do the best you can. Try not to yell. Take breaks just to cuddle or tickle or laugh. Be sure your actual work team understands your reality. Ask for help when you need it. And most importantly, give yourself (and your children) some grace. This. Is. Hard. It’s new, it’s wild, it’s amazing, and really and truly, it’s all going to be ok. 

Hang in. Have fun. Do work. And say your prayers. You can sit next to me on the struggle bus. Welcome home! 🙂

(The only) 4 must-haves for your perfect wedding day

Just this past weekend I attended a wedding that was, by ALL accounts, one of the most perfect country-lovin’ celebrations of love and marriage ever. It was flawless, y’all, and I mean it.

It was a 65-degree glorious fall day and leaves were sprinkled all the way to the creek. The fish literally jumped between the two trees that formed the altar to the beat of Eric Church while we all waited for the gorgeous southern bride to walk down the aisle on her daddy’s arm. The handsome groom teared up when he saw his girl, his recently-ordained buddy/officiant made us laugh when he flubbed the words at just the right moment, and I swear, that creek sparkled when they leaned in for the kiss.

If you grew up in the sticks you were in Dirt Road Heaven, and if you didn’t…well, that day you wished you did.

I’ve spent a couple hundred Saturdays (and one sweet Tuesday) telling wedding stories through a lens, and I can tell you that I’ve seen some REALLY amazing Perfect Wedding Days. I’ve seen Pinterest boards come alive in wide open fields, immaculate cathedrals, and baseball stadiums. I’ve seen countless just-right dresses, flowers that took my breath away, first dances that made me laugh and cry, and parties so fabulous that they could have lasted all night.

When I think back to the BEST Perfect Wedding Days though, it’s hardly ever the Pin-worthy parts that I remember. In the moment, yes, it’s all fun to ogle over, and fo’ sho, I’m always impressed when the bathroom is as wedding’d out as the rest of the venue, but in the end that stuff was just fun to see.

I’ve found that, like it is with most things, the real perfection comes not in the level of thought put into every visible detail, but instead, in the amount of love and sweetness that fill it from the inside. Yes, this is going to be that kind of list.

So in case you or someone you know hasn’t done this occasion yet, I’ve compiled the most accurate list I could muster of Must-Haves for your Perfect Wedding Day. In no particular order, here’s ALL you REALLY need:

#1: Expectations. Maybe you’ve been dreaming about this day since you were born and you’ve got ALL the everythings figured out. It’s your day after all, and ALL the brides’ dreams come true on their day! [Insert record scratch here.]

You know what your wedding day also is? A regular day here on this regular planet, and I don’t know about you, but on most of my regular days, I usually bump into a hitch or two (or ten, but who’s counting). Unless you’ve hired a magnificent wedding planner who handles all the glitches like a fairy godmother and never tells you how it all almost fell apart, something messy is going down on your day. Get your mind right and no one will get hurt.

Your expectations can either sentence you to a day teetering on the edge of tears, OR a day of laughter. I promise that if you’re in tune with reality and choose the laughter, you’ll also get the bonus perk of a more entertaining wedding day story to re-tell for the rest of your married life.

Pop Quiz. Which is more fun?

A. “My day was everything I imagined it would be. Everything went exactly right and we are sure to have a perfect life to go along with our perfect wedding. I just know it!”

B. “Our day was friggin’ awesome. I got stuck in traffic and had to do my makeup in the rear view mirror. My brother had to pick the lock to get us in the church and I left my bouquet at home. The kegs were floating at the reception before our first dance and the cake was kinda hideous nothing like the picture. But MY WORD, it was a GOOD TIME. We’d do it all over again and wouldn’t change a thing.”

Hint: The answer is B, y’all. Taken from my own perfect day. No regrets. Expect the unexpected and take it all in stride.

#2: Attitude. This one goes right along with the expectations, but I’d encourage you to work on keeping this in check from the moment you get engaged to the moment you…well…are parted by death. [JK, that’s not actually possible if you’re human – especially a married one (bahaha!), but you should shoot for a good one on your wedding day at the very least.]

A million things can threaten to mess with your attitude when it comes to #weddinglife. (Refer to the Mountain of Unimportant Things in a previous post, and also to those Expectations above.) You are NOT alone, you are smack-dab in the middle of a MAJOR life change, and you may feel an overwhelming sense of overwhelm at the thought of all there is to do to make it…what is it again…perfect. Keep your smile on lock, because smiles go better with a white dress than stress.

The reason that attitude is so important, especially if you’re the bride, is that your attitude sets the tone for everyone else. Not to say that everyone is looking at you, but friend, they’re all looking at you. Your mom, your maid of honor, your DJ, your future husband – they’re all surveying your face to gauge the spirit of the day. Let the little things (or ALL the OTHER people’s BIG things) swallow you whole, and nobody’s happy – and neither are the memories. Stay positive and focus on the fact that you (hopefully) can’t wait to spend your life with the one you love, and it’s all golden.

Worried that your program attendant is sick at the last minute? Sit the stack on the closest table and sincerely pray that your friend feels better soon. You’re getting married. Annoyed that your flower girl refuses to put on that crown you made for her? Think about the sassy story you’ll tell at her wedding and be thankful she’s at least wearing the dress. You’ve been waiting for this day forever. Upset that the forecast is predicting rain? You’re getting a forever-love today, and maybe you’ll get a rainbow too. I’ve seen it happen, and that muddy-footed bride and groom grinned from ear to ear right beside their 100 soaking wet guests when I took a photo of them all standing under the Roygbiv bridge that nestled right above their reception tent. Attitude + Rainbows = Perfection every time!

#3: Buffers. Ok, time for some real talk. Even if you have #1 and #2 in check, there are LOTS of feelings floating around on a day as big as this one. Not just your own feelings either, I’m talking about the OTHER feelings. How your grandma feels about your grandpa’s new wife. How your MIL-to-be feels about your rib tattoo. How your sister feels about her ex being a groomsman. How your unmarried BFF feels about you getting the ring first. You get it. FEELINGS.

While you’re doing all the things to create the perfect looking wedding day, don’t forget to factor in the feelings, and when possible, build yourself some solid buffers ahead of time.

Grandma says she ain’t coming if she’s got to share a pew with Jezebel? Avoid the dirty looks and reserve a special seat on the second row for Wife #2. Future MIL points out during your fitting that she’s heard you can remove those tattoo things now? She doesn’t get to come in the room until you’re fully dressed on the wedding day. Sister can’t stand looking at her ex on the other side? Assign another friend to keep her away from the champagne (and the microphone). And your BFF? She loves you and she’ll get over it, or she shouldn’t be your BFF to begin with.

A few other buffering tips for your own feelings’ sake:

  • Don’t ask someone to be in the wedding if they’re not in your most trusted, most enjoyable, most beloved circle.
  • Don’t plan the whole thing around someone else’s standards OR budget.
  • Don’t dance to a sappy song if you don’t want pictures of your ugly-cry face, but DO if it means something to you. (There will be plenty of other pictures.)
  • Don’t spend so much time on Pinterest that you forget why you’re getting married to begin with.
  • Oh, and if you can, get one of those fairy godmothers.

#4: Love. I hope everything in you just went, “well duh.” It’s an obvious necessity, but I’ve seen it get overlooked a time or two.

Love the life you’re building with your person. Love the people who got you both to where you are today. Love the song you dance to and the vows you take. Love the plans you think you have and your ability to wing it together. Love the ones who are going to lift you up when it gets hard. Love the perfect imperfections that make you a balanced match. Love the Lord and lean on Him always because if, together, you have THAT kind of love, you will be unshakable.

Perfect Wedding Days DO exist, quite often, in fact. It’s just up to you to recognize the things that truly make it pop. Got another Must-Have to add to the list? Leave it below. Cheers to you and the Perfect Weddings ahead.

Sidenote: Wedding in your rear view or nowhere in sight? These Must-Haves may also work for, well, mostly every other stage in life. Godspeed, girlfriend.

The girl with the grocery store feet

Just a few steps east of the stoplight, where 158 meets Highway 35, sits an aged and weathered store, a vacant restaurant, and the most cherished memory vault of my entire adolescence. I drove by it a few weeks ago just like I do every time I go back to visit or pass through – slowly – half wanting to stop and spend hours exploring, and half wanting to run like hell.

I’ve been inside only once in the last decade, naive to the real effect this place had had on me, thinking that I could actually walk in and grab a block of cheese and a quick hint of my childhood and be on my way. (Bah!) I didn’t get the cheese on that trip.

Instead, I realized quickly that the nice man behind the counter wasn’t Miss Becky or Miss Deanie, that it wasn’t 1994, and I was either going to puke or sob if I didn’t back away fast. I made it to the car before the ugly crying started. Whew – wasn’t expecting that.

Once upon a time this place was my Disneyland. It was full of candy and hand trucks to ride, and some of the greatest characters of my happy childhood’s movie. I can still hear the sound of my daddy’s key in the lock and smell the can of Pledge behind the checkout counter. I can hear the loud hum of the back room and taste the chocolate-covered peanuts and peanut brittle that no other Christmas candy will ever beat. I can see the line of customers at the meat counter and I can feel immediately and fully right at home if I let my mind settle back there.

I got off the school bus right there at the front. Every day without fail (at least the way my memory tells it) my Pop was standing in the window waiting with a smile. He’d opened that store in 1954, and saved a special seat for me and my glass-bottle Coke to take a break and have a snack in his office after school. Good grief, what I wouldn’t give to share a Coke with him now.

I spent afternoons straightening the stock on the shelves until I was old enough to carry a box cutter of my own in my back pocket. I learned to keep all the bills facing the same direction in the register if you wanted to count change quicker. I loved watching my daddy talk to his customers like they were his friends (because they were), and I loved it even more when the old ladies would ask, “Ain’t you Johnny’s baby? Good Lord girl, you done grown.” My response: beaming.

Today, the locks have changed, the characters have all moved on, and life for us all looks very very different than it did back then. But no matter how many years go by or how many turns we take, the fact is that I’m still Johnny’s Baby, we still belong to J.C., and to me, THIS will always be our place.

Somewhere along the way I thought I outgrew that little store, that little town, that little life. So often these days I feel like I’ve lost the little girl with the grocery store feet. Maybe I’ve been wearing high heels too long.

She’s still in there though. She’s the piece of me that knows how to make friendly small talk with a perfect stranger. She’s the one who knows that everybody (from the town drunk to the town mayor) buys toilet paper. She knows that hard work is made for more than money, and that when you add a little kindness and a few good folks to it, it doesn’t feel like work anyway. She knows what it means to build something and keep at it until it becomes a part of you. She’s also the piece that understands that it’s okay to turn the page. Just because a chapter ends, that doesn’t mean it can’t always be one of your favorite parts of the story.

Flip-flop feet don’t quite count, but close enough.

Though it might be another decade before I go back in, driving by that store these days makes me smile. I smile because I know there’s such beauty in turning the page.

Just last weekend I got to hang out for a while in another place that felt right at home, just two hours east of that old Disneyland. My daddy has the keys, my Pop’s picture is on the wall, and the two little girls I love the most in this world learned a little bit about straightening stock on the shelves. Eventually I pray they’ll get the time and the chance to learn the other lessons too, if they’re lucky, with grocery store feet and all.

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